Bullies: Letting Go of the Fear

Robert Bernard
Dec 2, 2024
5 min read

Updated: Dec 12, 2024

A Davidian Lesson by Coach Robert

TYPE: Skill

What is Skill in basketball?

Skill is knowledge that allows you to solve a problem.

What are Maneuvers in basketball?

Physical actions that serve a purpose on the court (i.e. hesitate or counter uphill/downhill).

What are Tools in basketball?

A skill and maneuver combined

The Davidian Process:

Instructions: Follow the 3 Tenets and complete the Davidian Worksheet at the bottom of this lesson.

(click the red terms to jump to each tenet):

LEARN | PRACTICE | APPLY

~ LEARN ~

1st Tenet: Identify the problem

The Problem:

Basketball is one of the most beautiful games ever created. Yet, amidst its rhythm of passes, dribbles, and shots, lies a deeply troubling truth: the way people treat one another in and around the game can often be cruel. This truth is particularly painful because it doesn’t have to be this way.

Youth basketball, a stage meant for growth, learning, and joy, has unfortunately become a breeding ground for something much darker—bullying. Players fear being judged, ridiculed, or embarrassed. This fear, rooted in the imperfections of the game, spreads through teams like wildfire, infecting relationships and undermining the very spirit of basketball.

Basketball’s Nature: A Game of Imperfection

Let’s face it: basketball is a game of mistakes. Shots miss, passes go astray, dribbles falter, and turnovers happen. The ball will not go in more often than it does. Yet, despite this truth, players often weaponize these natural errors against one another.

Instead of fostering support and camaraderie, teams sometimes devolve into spaces of judgment and mockery. When players bully or humiliate others for missed shots or mistakes, they undermine creativity, confidence, and the trust that teams need to thrive.

The Bully Dynamic

What’s especially disheartening is that it’s often the more skilled players who bully those still developing. They wield their experience and ability like weapons, making teammates feel small, unwelcome, and unworthy.

For younger players, the situation can be even worse. Youth often lack the maturity and experience to understand what basketball truly is: a lifelong journey of learning and improving. In their immaturity, they harm one another by laughing, teasing, and isolating certain teammates. This behavior is not only unkind but destructive to the very foundation of teamwork and personal growth.

Changing the Culture

It’s time we recognize basketball for what it is: a game of persistence, failure, and recovery. Missing shots, stumbling, and feeling discomfort are not moments of shame—they are the essence of the sport. The true measure of a player isn’t in avoiding mistakes but in how they respond to them.

As coaches, parents, and mentors, we must create a culture where players understand this. Laughing at a missed shot or ridiculing a teammate isn’t just wrong—it’s a betrayal of what basketball stands for. In football, a quarterback’s incomplete pass doesn’t invite laughter; it invites another chance to play. Basketball should be no different.

Letting Go of the Fear

Why do people bully? Fear. Fear of being the next target. Fear of being seen as less than. Fear of standing out for the wrong reasons. But bullying doesn’t solve fear; it multiplies it.

To those who are tempted to gang up on a teammate or mock a mistake, I challenge you to resist. Be the one who breaks the cycle. Offer encouragement instead of criticism. Extend a hand instead of pointing a finger.

Because in the end, the glory of the game fades. The final buzzer will sound, the crowds will go home, and the only thing left will be the memories of how you treated others. Did you uplift or tear down? Did you inspire or diminish?

The Greatest Truth in Basketball

The reason I call this blog “Bullies: Letting Go of the Fear” is because people, young or old, bully and gang up on those who are different due to the fear of it happening to them. But I say to resist the urge to gang up! You will be better for it in the end.

After the last whistle has blown and the final buzzer has sounded there won't be any glory to be had. Only the silence of life and the memory of how you feel or made others feel. This silence will be deafening and it will teach you the greatest truth in basketball: how you treat one another matters most.

More Insight on Learning:

Introducing Kevin Laue & Coach Robert

"I met Kevin Laue when I played for the Tri-Valley Outlawz during high school, an AAU program based in the Tri-Valley region of the East Bay Area. Kevin took on much bullying, even with him standing nearly 7' tall. He was resilient and never showed that it bothered him, but what stood out to me was his hunger to improve at basketball. When we entered the gym at tournaments most teams would stare and point. They were amazed the tallest man in the gym had 1 and a half arms. We embraced being different individually and as a team. His mother, whom I will never forget, asked me to work with him before our practices and I gladly obliged. She asked to pay me too and I earnestly responded with a smile, "Oh, no, that's okay!" She was impressed by my kindness and character and also by the way I never treated Kevin any differently than my other teammates. I was about 16 years old at the time."

~ Coach Robert ~

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~ PRACTICE ~

2nd Tenet: Study the knowledge

Following the journey of Kevin Laue

Kevin Laue in High School

Kevin Laue receives basketball scholarship

Kevin Laue goes to College

Kevin Laue succeeding in D1 college basketball

More Insight on Practicing this Skill

This video inspires us to practice because everyone has a deficiency somewhere. Hearing Kevin Laue speak about it to a room full of high schoolers fires me up to go work on my game and embrace my flaws as a person and basketballer.

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-- APPLY --

3rd Tenet: Use the knowledge to solve the problem

Slow down. Look for the moment the problem appears. Slow down. Be watchful of the problem. Be vigilant in solving it!

The Moment of Application:

“If you are the best player, or first on the team, you should run with the worst or last player on the team.” ~ Coach Robert

See how Kevin Laue applies this skill

Kevin Laue shows how you can apply this skill

More Insight on Applying this Skill

This is the masterpiece Kevin Laue has become. By learning his problems, practicing the skills his journey has taught him, and with years and years of application, Kevin Laue has succeeded in not only basketball but in life and himself.

You will too!

Shalom.

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